I have heard this phrase from different people as a way of making jokes about some other therapists, but I wasn’t aware of it as a helpful approach in psychotherapy.
What you are about to read comes from Kathleen Keating’s book called ‘Hug Therapy‘.
This book is a mix of psychology, humor, and self-help, making it an easy read.
In this book, the writer explains the psychological and physiological benefits of hugging, emphasizing that human touch is a fundamental need.
Few next parts includes a summary of Key Themes and Concepts from this book.
1. The Science Behind Hugging
Keating explains that hugs are not just symbolic gestures, they have real, measurable benefits on the body and mind:
Oxytocin Boost (“The Love Hormone”): Hugging triggers the release of oxytocin, which fosters feelings of trust, bonding, and emotional security.
Stress Reduction: Hugs lower cortisol levels, reducing stress and anxiety.
Heart Health: Studies show that frequent hugs can lower blood pressure and improve cardiovascular health.
Pain Relief: Hugging can trigger the release of endorphins, acting as a natural painkiller.
Stronger Immune System: Physical touch stimulates the body’s defense mechanisms.
2. Emotional and Psychological Benefits
Keating emphasizes that hugs provide psychological nourishment by:
Creating a sense of belonging and safety.
Helping people feel seen, valued, and understood.
Reducing feelings of loneliness, depression, and isolation.
Enhancing self-esteem and self-acceptance.
Encouraging emotional openness and vulnerability.
3. The Different Types of Hugs and Their Meanings
Keating humorously categorizes different types of hugs, showing how each has unique effects on our emotions and relationships:
The Bear Hug: Big, tight, and full of love; often used among close friends and family.
The Side Hug: Casual, supportive, often between acquaintances.
The Heart-to-Heart Hug: A slow, deep hug that promotes emotional connection.
The Quick Pat-on-the-Back Hug: Friendly but sometimes impersonal.
The Self-Hug: Hugging oneself as an act of self-love and self-care.
4. Hug Therapy as a Healing Practice
Keating suggests that hugging can be therapeutic, particularly for those struggling with emotional wounds or trauma. She explores how:
- Hugging can be a form of nonverbal therapy, especially for those who struggle with words.
- It helps build trust and connection in therapy settings.
- It can provide comfort and closure in times of grief.
- Self-hugging can be an effective self-care tool for emotional healing.
5. Overcoming Barriers to Hugging
Not everyone is comfortable with hugs, and Keating acknowledges this. She discusses:
- Cultural Differences – Some cultures embrace hugging, while others are more reserved.
- Personal Boundaries – Respecting different comfort levels with physical touch.
- Trauma and Past Experiences – How past emotional wounds can make hugs feel uncomfortable or triggering.
- Learning to Accept and Give Hugs – Small steps to become more comfortable with hugging.
6. How to Incorporate More Hugs Into Daily Life
Keating encourages readers to make hugging a daily habit, offering practical tips like:
- Giving at least four hugs a day for emotional survival, eight for maintenance, and twelve for growth (based on family therapist Virginia Satir’s recommendations).
- Initiating hugs with loved ones as a way to strengthen relationships.
- Practicing mindful hugging—fully embracing the moment without distraction.
- Using self-hugs to practice self-love.
So …
- Hugging is a simple yet powerful way to boost mental and physical well-being.
- Hugs can help reduce stress, strengthen relationships, and promote healing.
- Everyone has different comfort levels with hugging—respecting boundaries is important.
- Hug therapy is about more than physical touch—it’s about creating connection, trust, and love.
