Maybe it all lives in our heart and soul. Somewhat hidden and indefinable. It seems we are heading to horrendous places. The vastness of human cognition makes us all wonder about who and how we are gonna face. Life is like a game. You lose, you win, and still, there is a lot you don’t know about the game. An unfinishable game to be played forever. Somewhat constantly evolving and reforming. So you cannot be aware of any future event. The future is disturbing and promising, but because of its vagueness, it can make you lost and wandering.
I have got a problem focusing. But even in the most difficult moments, there is a voice that tells you, “Man up, don’t act like a kid, you aren’t a kid anymore. You’re an adult,” and as the voice got stronger in my head, I started to believe, “There is nothing I cannot do, as long as I believe I can.” As Frank Sinatra in the song “That’s Life” sings:
“I thought of quitting, baby
But my heart just ain’t gonna buy it.”
YES, I did think of quitting, but if I do, there would be nothing in my life to fight for anymore, so, as a consequence, I would be miserable, which I don’t want to.
I felt like Lana Del Rey in her song “Born to Die”:
My heart breaks every step that I take.
Lost, but now I am found
I can see that once I was blind
I was so confused as a little child
Tryna take what I could get
Scared that I couldn’t find
It’s weird how much Lana gets me. She sings in “Candy Necklace”:
White fire, cinnamon on my teeth
And I’m sittin’ at the stoplight, northern town
I feel lucky
I drive somewhere out of range, I don’t know where
White noise coming out of my brain
Turns off for nothing
That’s me. Lost in the traffic of my mind. In the spirals of fiery thoughts in my mind. I feel burning, but I still feel lucky to have the chance for another fight.
Then she sings in “West Coast”:
Down on the West Coast, they got a sayin’
“If you’re not drinkin’, then you’re not playin'”
But you’ve got the music
You’ve got the music in you, don’t you?
Down on the West Coast, I get this feelin’ like
It all could happen, that’s why I’m leavin’
You for the moment, you for the moment
Life is like music. Our behaviors are themselves music. We need to find the music within ourselves. The language which enables us to talk to life, others, and ourselves. And also, having in mind, everything has a price, and you have to face the music afterwards
