It’s been written as a continue of this post: LIFE is not just about YOU
1: Passionate Moments
Why is starting always so difficult? Last night, I actually wrote a plan for my daily tasks, but still, when I try to go through something repeatedly, my mind presents errors, reminding me of life and how much I should wait for a few passionate moments in the future. Maybe I shouldn’t. You should just start; the rest will figure itself out. That’s the only way. Every time you’re not in the mood, start journaling; you will remember what you have forgotten.
2: The Miserable
From the morning, you convince yourself that this day will be different. And it will be—if you start. That doesn’t mean life won’t make you feel miserable at times. Life is full of waves, like seawater. It fluctuates and plays with you. If you are not aware of yourself, it will erode you. You need self-definition. You need to question yourself: What am I seeking? Who am I?
3: Socialization
Something felt wrong inside me again. There are a lot of things I should do—I know this—but knowing it kills me because I feel so down and blue that I don’t have the energy to do even the simplest things. Sometimes, I wonder how I ended up here, always searching for the meaning of life. Always asking: Why should I live? And how?
They say that if you connect with people and society and don’t isolate yourself, you’ll be all right. You will grow and flourish. But socialization is not the answer—I’ve tried it. The more you talk to people, the more you find yourself empty. Talking requires knowledge. Everybody can talk, but few can speak in a way that truly impacts others.
The voices in my mind are sometimes so extreme that it feels like a volcano erupting inside me. They produce words and questions every second. It’s breathtaking, and it’s difficult to focus. I ask myself again: If pleasure-seeking isn’t the answer, nor sleep or exercise, then what is? A book?
4: Mornings
My mornings are a mess. It’s like a repetition of Lily’s Theme (a piece from the Harry Potter series)—a melancholic start to every day. I feel sad and blue and dark. Every morning is like a rebirth, but not a hopeful one—a torturous one.
Yeah, there is no morning or night; it’s just a game. I am stuck in a malevolent cycle, a vicious repetition of pain. There is no doubt that life—specifically growth—is built on pain, but the question is: How much of it can I bear?
But there should be an answer. Shouldn’t there be?
5: A Picture with Many Voices
I want you to imagine this picture in your mind:
You are sitting in your room, worn out and alone. Your smiles are dark, and your style seems depressed and blue.
You feel heartbroken by life. And you think there was no other way. No matter what, your life would have led you here. And still, you wonder, how did I end up here? Couldn’t I have done better? What’s wrong with me?
And then another voice comes up: “If you feel like this, you’re not alone. Self-doubt and questioning your actions can be a good sign.”
But in the moment of drowning, you’re looking for a sign—a sign that tells you: “There is still hope, even behind closed doors. You just need to keep going.”
That’s how you can get yourself heartbroken. The bad news? There is no sign or symptom of the future—only the present. And you must learn to live in the moment.
Don’t chase pleasure. It’s deceptive. It shows you one thing and sells you something else. Pleasure-seeking is not the answer. It’s just a vicious cycle.
The moment you allow yourself to feel your emotions instead of suppressing them, your redemption begins.
6: A Log Curve
To find a better version of yourself, you need motivation. And for me, that motivation was Pain. When you are in immense pain, you don’t think why—you just think: “how can I solve this? Can I get rid of it?” For me, pain was a teacher—a good teacher—who helped me and taught me how to be myself.
You need to find yourself, but first, you must get lost. How? you may ask. The answer is a repeated cycle of trial and failure.
Learning is like a logarithmic curve. The more you grow, the harder it becomes to achieve more. The first steps are easy to take, but as you progress, they become increasingly difficult—even unbearable. I call the second part of the log curve “the threshold.” This phase always involves slow progress, but that shouldn’t worry you—it’s natural.
There is no such thing as standing still. You’re either moving forward or falling behind. So, if you don’t push yourself, life will leave you behind. Nobody will wait for you—not even life.
